Seth had a confidence problem.
The problem wasn’t something he was born with. His self-worth had been shaped by many factors, over many years. The problem wasn’t something he could afford to ignore, either, if he were going to live the life he wanted for himself.
With frequent moves and seemingly endless new schools to navigate, Seth* learned very early that hypervigilance was necessary for survival – at school, in the community, and most certainly at home. Both his mom and dad were in and out of his life, frequently because of incarceration, but also disappearing without explanation. Sometimes it felt better when his mom or dad were missing, because at least there was less violence.
Seth trusted no one, including himself, and when he began using at age eight, he learned to trust that drugs and alcohol would help him escape his reality. What Seth didn’t realize at the time was that the more he chased that artificial feeling, the more addicted he became physically and psychologically. His anxiety became increasingly less manageable. He made choices he’s not proud of because of his dependency.
Using came with a hefty price, including the loss of his freedom at around 12 years old, when he was sent to his first residential treatment program in another state. The last residential treatment program he entered was the youth-centered recovery program on the William George Agency for Children’s Services (WGA) campus. It was there that Seth began to work on his addiction and self-esteem issues in earnest.
“Getting sent there saved my life. I didn’t think I could ever quit using because I didn’t believe in myself. Thanks for never giving up on me,” said Seth over the phone to the program’s director. The purpose of his unexpected call that day was to thank everyone at WGA who helped him and to let them know he was doing well.
“It’s calls like that that keep me doing what I do,” said Justin Herbel. Herbel has worked at the outpatient substance use treatment program at WGA since 2007 and has been its director since 2015.
“You and Amanda kept telling me that dab pens were making me anxious,” continued Seth. “I finally recognized it and smashed my dab pens and flushed my weed. I started believing in myself and believing that I could quit. I feel so much better.”
Seth was calling from the town where he had lived as a child. He moved back there after he graduated from the WGA program and found a supportive living environment that doesn’t allow active substance use on or off the property. He was pleased to say he had made a down payment on a car and that he regularly attends AA meetings and church every Sunday. He credited his newfound religious beliefs with helping him stay sober.
“Seth is an amazing young man whose recovery journey has not been easy. I was heartened to hear that he has found such a supportive environment. He can do anything he puts his mind to,” said Herbel. “There are few things more difficult than escaping the chaos that so frequently goes along with growing up in an addictive family system. Recognizing the cycle of dysfunction is one thing; breaking the cycle is another. Seth is doing that. He’s learning that he can cope without substances, that he can find peace in himself, and most importantly, that he has value and is worthy of happiness.”
Hanging on Herbel’s desk drawer is a picture of Seth, and it’s the first thing he looks at every day when he begins his workday.
“I am grateful for having known him and proud of what he is accomplishing,” said Herbel.
“There is no greater measure of our mission than seeing former residents build successful, healthy, and fulfilling lives,” said Helen M. Hulings, Executive Director of WGA. “Their achievements reflect remarkable resilience and determination, and we are honored to have played a small part in their journey. They will always have our encouragement, support, and a home at William George.”
*Name changed for privacy